Over the Rainbow

a letter to you [but really to me]


part 1

those thoughts go around rolling and tumbling and wavering and fluttering in my heart, and my head can't make sense of them.

I am not defined by your good or bad opinion of me. I am His, His alone.

I live and breathe by His power; I measure myself by His standard, not yours.

I want your approval, but I am not constrained or condemned by you. I will be vulnerable, but not breakable.

My life is hid in Christ on high. He is my glory and my song. I march to His heartbeat and His alone. So free your anxious thoughts and furrowed brow. Dance and smile and laugh, be who you are, His daughter. Do not be dismayed. Don't waste it, this moment. Freedom comes with obedience.

part 2

You are valuable, you are loved. You are His, His alone.

Your opinion matters.

That's why I care in the first place, you know. My respect for you demands it.

But when you're judging me (is it really judging, or just protectiveness?), you're letting something out that He has freed you from. So let go of it.

You might not condemn with your words, but I feel it.

You don't always disdain, but when you do -- even with if it's just a hint -- I feel it.

Stinging and biting.

So the main thing is:

I care about what you think about me. It's because you are His. But I care too much. Why would I be writing this letter if I didn't care?

So the problem's really with me, and not you, can you see that?

I see it. And I run, run hard fast, away from all these I's and If's and You's and Feel's. And I run and I fall into His arms. And He whispers in my ear, and I march, renewed, ready to face a day of tumbly thoughts and achy hearts. My foundation is sure. I sing and laugh, because He delights in my satisfaction, my abandonment.

Because it's His. Not mine, or yours. We are His.