a letter to you [but really to me]


part 1

those thoughts go around rolling and tumbling and wavering and fluttering in my heart, and my head can't make sense of them.

I am not defined by your good or bad opinion of me. I am His, His alone.

I live and breathe by His power; I measure myself by His standard, not yours.

I want your approval, but I am not constrained or condemned by you. I will be vulnerable, but not breakable.

My life is hid in Christ on high. He is my glory and my song. I march to His heartbeat and His alone. So free your anxious thoughts and furrowed brow. Dance and smile and laugh, be who you are, His daughter. Do not be dismayed. Don't waste it, this moment. Freedom comes with obedience.

part 2

You are valuable, you are loved. You are His, His alone.

Your opinion matters.

That's why I care in the first place, you know. My respect for you demands it.

But when you're judging me (is it really judging, or just protectiveness?), you're letting something out that He has freed you from. So let go of it.

You might not condemn with your words, but I feel it.

You don't always disdain, but when you do -- even with if it's just a hint -- I feel it.

Stinging and biting.

So the main thing is:

I care about what you think about me. It's because you are His. But I care too much. Why would I be writing this letter if I didn't care?

So the problem's really with me, and not you, can you see that?

I see it. And I run, run hard fast, away from all these I's and If's and You's and Feel's. And I run and I fall into His arms. And He whispers in my ear, and I march, renewed, ready to face a day of tumbly thoughts and achy hearts. My foundation is sure. I sing and laugh, because He delights in my satisfaction, my abandonment.

Because it's His. Not mine, or yours. We are His.

I know where I'm going!

 My dear friends and family,

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me." Galatians 2:20

God is my shepherd, faithful to lead me on the paths of righteousness, for His name's sake. His story for me will continue to be filled with twists and turns, peaks and valley, nights of confusion, and moments of peace beyond understanding. But I have confidence that He is sovereign over my life. While the story's details and even the next few pages may yet be unknown, my future is sure. I have faith that through Christ's atoning sacrifice I will one day stand before my Lord and King and rejoice with all the saints at the height and depth and breadth of my Savior's love. I know where I'm going.

 
And as for the next four years?

I know where I'm going, now, too. Baylor, here I come. Sic 'em, Bears!

What will I be majoring in?
I'm excited to be joining a unique program at Baylor called University Scholars. As a University Scholar major with a Great Texts emphasis, I will be able to bypass typical freshmen classes and hand-pick my course schedule according to my interests with the aid of a wise counselor. I'm so thrilled to be able to combine my love of literature, writing, music, and theatre!

Where will I be living?My room is now reserved at Brooks Residential College, a lovely housing committee with its own library, chapel, and dining hall (which was designed to look like the Great Hall at Oxford)! Every Sunday night, residents gather for a family-style meal, and each Tuesday afternoon includes a tea time  with the resident faculty. Many of my Great Texts classes will be in Brooks, and I am absolutely thrilled to be rooming with my dear friend, Haley Bartell. Brooks Chapel is also the meeting place of the RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) group on campus, and I can't wait to be part of it.
 
 
 

















Thank you all so much for your prayers and interest in my college decision. I am so thankful to God for each of you; you have all had a precious part in my life. Know that your prayers will continue to be treasured as I embark on this new adventure!

Love,
Kaley

I miss blogging.

LIFE. life. lifelifelife.

I'm living life.

living it.

but I'd like to be writing about it, too.

so here's some words I've written. my poetry, if you can call it that. oh how I wish I could write the hauntingly beautiful phrases that Percy Bysshe Shelley weaves together, or craft the comfortable, enlightening words of wisdom C. S. Lewis seems to sprinkle everywhere. but I'm glad they wrote those wondrous phrases and glorious words. they point me to the beauty of the all-knowing God.

--the space.

it darts like a humming bird, a flash,
that glance--between you, and I--
and I blush, and think,
did you mean to be looking at me?
or was it just chance.

why is it that, from across the room,
you seem as close as a boat,
latched safe to its dock:
why don't you come nearer?
and I feel lost at sea.

we talk, and you laugh, and I feel
warm and safe; but, for some reason,
I hesitate--a space forms--
do you wish it had lasted?
[the warmth]
I think that you do, don't you?

...did you feel it, too? Or am I mixing up my warmth for yours? it's yours that will make up the space, between you, and me. you know that, don't you? I'm sure that you do.
In fact, it's the distance that assures me. how strange life is.

(thank you pinterest)

Oh, and by the way...

I made cranberry chocolate chip muffins this morning, and I actually improvised a bit (guys, this is a big thing for me), and they still tasted yummy!!

I'm a breakfast baker at heart <3

Autumn Flavors

Raw Apple Cake

½ cup shortening

1 cup white sugar

½ cup brown sugar

2 eggs

1 cup milk

2 ½ cups flour

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. soda

2 cups sliced apples

1 tsp. baking powder

Dash of cinnamon

Dash of vanilla

Mix and sprinkle 2 tablespoons of brown sugar and 1/2 cup chopped nuts on top.

Pour batter into a prepared 13 by 9 pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for around 25 minutes.

two potraits

#1:

Warm in face and deed
Firm of hand and speech
You are the light in the window.

Careful Fingers,
Curving Lips,
Balance.

Just like I know
That two plus two equals four
I know what you'll do.

I'll do it, too, one day.

Like the mountain, unshakable,
Like the river, fresh and free;
But nature can't compare:
You have forever
In those bones.



#2:

You're an emerald,
Precious,
Your eyes are your
Mona Lisa Smile.

Predictable, like the sunrise,
But your many facets,
Put rainbows on the walls.

Sweet veil, what do you hide
In that thought-filled mind?
Your heart's on your sleeve:
it's pure white.

Same smells, small expressions,
The way you raise your eyebrow:
You're like a song
That's never been sung before.