Love so amazing, so divine, demands my life, my soul, my all

"When sin abounds, there is grace more abudant." - The Valley of Vision

Before I begin, let me clarify something. I'm not one of those girls that is obsessive over guys.
If I see a good quality in guy, I just think to myself, "Oh, he's really selfless/caring/funny/cute/yougetwhatImean," and move on with my life. I think being friends with guys is great! But anything more? At this stage? Not going to happen. I'm waiting for that one "perfect" guy who I pray God has planned for me.

Yet, something had been creeping in to my "it's all cool" attitude; I'd been becoming a little too confident in my OWN strength. Little fears started creeping in...I began thinking that my standards were too high - no, impossible - for any guy to fill. I began thinking about this future prince charming way more than I needed too. And other guys started filling my thoughts, as well.

I didn't know what was wrong, but I felt helpless against stopping these feeling and thoughts. It's not that they were wrong and totally wicked - the problem was that I was gradually, unknowingly, giving them more of my thoughts/time than God.

And even though this was all only going on in my mind - nothing had changed in my actual actions - it was still sinful. I wanted a physical, touchable, seeable love, and I felt like God's love wasn't real enough. This was straining my relationship with the truest, most perfect lover of my soul.

"Not to think of him was impossible. How to think of him was within her own power." - The Scottish Chiefs

(In my case, this him refers a multitude of good qualities I'd seen in other guys around me which I'd mushed together into this makebelieve dream boat whom I've never even met! How RIDICULOUS is that?! I was giving more of my time thinking about a fiction of my imagination that my savior whose love is greater than I can even imagine!!)

I was purusing the setapartgirl magazine when I suddenly saw what was going on. Sentences began jumping out at me:

"Even a Christ-Built Warrior-Poet can claim an unhealthy hold upon your thought-life if you are not guarded and purposeful about taking every thought captive." - setapartgirl magazine

"Being attracted to a guy isn't wrong in itself; it's a natural part of the way God made us. But if we don't handle attraction correctly, it can become one of the most dangerous stumbling blocks to our spiritual walk. If you allow attraction toward a guy to overtake your thoughts and emotions, it can easily take your focus off Christ...clouding your relationship with your king and dishonoring your relationship with your future husband." - setapartgirl magazine

"Our society...[tells you] you aren't complete alone, you have to have a partner...we need to get out of the mindset that we are 'half whole' and realize we're complete in Christ." - setapartgirl magazine

"So many of us, though we claim to know Jesus Christ, are still longing for our deepest desires to be fulfilled by someone else." - setapartgirl magazine

"Jesus Christ is your true prince...He is the one who gave His very life just to be with you...He is the only one who can meet your deepest longins, He is the only one worthy of your entire heart, life, soul, and body - all you are and all you have! Jesus Christ is the prince you should passionately pursue with all your heart." - setapartgirl magazine

"How matter how attracted you may feel toward someone, remember he could never compare to your true Bridegroom; the love of your soul. Find your satisfication in Jesus Christ alone, no matter how great or godly a man he brings into your life." - setapartgirl magazine.

I'd had my priorities all messed up. I had been isolating a part of my heart and setting it aside for my future husband, yet I wasn't isolating it from other guys - I was isolating it from God. I kept thinking of things I'd do/say when I had this future human romance, all the time forgetting that the most perfect, most satisfying love was within my reach.

I went to bed that night, and filled my mind with scripture. I prayed to God, and asked for His forgiveness. I asked to be filled with passionate, all-consuming love for Him - for He is worthy of EVERYTHING I have and will have and can become.

The sweet and beautiful words of a prayer in the book "Valley of Vision" fit my longing that perfectly: that I would know Christ as..."the path in which my feet tread, the latch upon the door of my lips, the light that shines through my eyes, the music of my ears, the marrow of my understanding, the strength of my will, the power of my affection, the sweetness of memory...unsought, thou hast given me the greatest gift, the person of thy son, and in him thou wilt give me all I need." (Those Puritans sure knew how to pray! Are those words not gorgeous?! What a fitting way to use the English language - to praise and glorify God!)

This struggle is now where near over. But I have a peace and assurance now I can't describe with words. I know the direction I want to pursue - the way I want to live - and with the help my almighty savior, I can begin to fight temptation and cling to Christ.

Wow, it felt wonderful to get that all out. Thanks for bearing with me!

I have more to say...on how I want my actions around guys to reflect my passionate love for Christ...on being judgmental and envious...and more! But, that will have to wait.

And, I would definitely recommend reading the setapartgirl magazine. It is so inspiring and convicting. You can read it for free on Leslie Ludy's website. Just type in "setapartgirl magazine" and you should find it.

Rejoicing in His AMAZING love!!

Kaley

I haven't posted...in a while! And it's not for lack of ideas - it's for lack of time. (Either I have no ideas, and a lot time, or a lot of ideas, and no time. Funny how that works.) So here's a quick update!

I had my first basketball game last night! It was great. We lost...and we lost by quite a bit. But we played hard, and supported each other. I'm amazed at much fun basketball can be, even for a not skilled or coordinated person like me. I also love cheering on our boys! We had a great time discussing the game and munching on each other's fries at Steak and Shake.

My mom and I made London Fog, a super yummy drink, for the first time this week. Ahhh. Perfect for a chilly fall day. It's not extremely flavorful, but just a warm and toasty kinda deal with a hint of vanilla and sprinkled with cinnamon. I recommend it!

(Thank you Sandra for my amazing sunflower!)

I'm almost finished with Sense and Sensibility. (Have I mentioned that Jane Austen is brillant? Cause she is brillant.) When I was younger, I swore I wasn't going to be one of "those homeschooled girls" who were obsessed with Jane Austen.
How naive I was. ;)

Today, I practiced the song I'm singing tomorrow, "Simple Little Things", from the musical 101 in the Shade, with my amazing new accompanist, Miss Connie Van Ausdall. She is INCREDIBLE at piano, and gave me a ton of helpful tips. In fact, after we went through my song, she showed me all her really old scores of musicals and played me some songs she thought I might like. But she didn't just play them - she told the whole background of the plot. SO interesting.
I never knew how important it is in Music Theatre to know the story behind the song you're singing.

Tomorrow is Reformation Day! Do you have anything planned to celebrate the day with?

Twenty-three Questions

I got tagged by Anna Olivia, Polka Dot, and Margaret Rowena to answer these twenty-three fabulous questions. It was so much fun!

The first eight are from Anna Olivia:

1. What do you imagine being, other than your plain ol' everyday self?

A brilliant author, an actress on Broadway, a heroine in a Jane Austen novel, a girl who's always confident, clever, beautiful, and caring.

2. Is there something you've tried before...a dare, a certain food, a hard project, anything...that you would never dream of doing again?

Tramping through an unknown woods to do some filming for a trailer. Ick. It was dirty, bug-infested, creepy, hot, sweaty...bleh. I'm such a whiner, but I am definitely not an outdoorsy person - in the adventurous way. I like safe outdoors, haha.

3. Is there a book that you've read at least five times from beginning to end?

The Shadow Spinner, by Susan Fletcher. Good. Book.

4. Do you have a special little weakness...that you just can't live without, and that gives you much happiness when obtained? [chocolate, shoes, something like that.]

Encouragment and Ice Cream. Weird combo, I know. Words are definitely part of my love language, so encouragment really means a lot to me. It's not that I'm insecure...it just makes me happy! And, ice cream is just plain wonderful (especially soft serve and chocolate chip cookie dough).

5. Do you prefer fast food or pizza?

I'd have to say pizza. (Although I do love me some Taco Bell Chalupas, Arby's Jamocha Shakes, and McDonald's McGriddles.)

6. Have you ever gotten "dressed up" in a historical costume? for what occasion?

Yup! It's been a long time, but when I was younger, we used to have history co-ops. We'd dress up like the time period we were studying. Southern belle, pilgrim girl, Native American, Greek goddess - done it all! :)

7. Have you ever stayed up ALL night?

I've stayed up 'till 6:30...does that count? :) (OH how I love sleepovers!)

8. Do you prefer men singers or women singers? Soprano, mezzo/baritones, tenors?

Probably guy singers - the ones that can sing pretty high and pretty low (liiike Josh GROBAN!) I like girl singers too. I respect sopranoes, but I like listening to mezzos better.

And these eight were from Polka Dot:

1. What character from a fictional book/movie do you most identify with?

This was a tough one! Probably Catherine Moreland from Northanger Abbey. My imagination doesn't get quite so carried away, but I can definitely relate to her.

2. Do you have any new obsessions? (a movie you can't stop watching, a CD you keep listening to, etc.)

Currently, I'm obessed with *anything* to do with cupcakes (pictures, recipes, jewelry - yeah...), anything to do with Jane Austen/Elizabeth Gaskell (namely, watching North and South and reading Sense and Sensibility - both are fabulous), and the song "Sweet Caroline" (Glee version).

3. What is a clothing accessory that you couldn't live without?

Scarves. They can so easily make an outfit fun, or dress it up, and plus, they're so cute!

4. What is your favorite color combination (for clothing)?

Fushia and yellow, turquoise and dark purple, gray and yellow...

5. Do you own red shoes? ;-)

I have my "ruby red slippers" from playing Dorothy, but other than that..no! Sad thing, isn't it? I need to get some.

6. Do you have a signature scent, or a scent you generally like to wear?

I like to try new scents, but I generally like sweet, girly ones. My current favorite is "Berry Vanilla".

7. What is one thing that you want to do before you die?

One thing? Goodness. That's tough. I think I'd say...publish a book that actually influences people. That would be amazing.

8. Is there something that you wish more than anything that you could do
but know that isn't possible during your life on earth? ;-)

Hmm...I'd want to be able to know exactly what my friends and family need at the moment (silence...encouragement...someone to listen to them...someone to talk to them...or if they just need their own space).

And these seven were from Margaret Rowena:

1. If you could be rich or famous, what would you be?

Rich. I would NOT like to be famous, at all! :)

2. How do you feel about The Lion King?

Um, it's fine! Not my favorite Disney movie, but I like the songs...and I think the Broadway Musical would be super fun to see.

3. When did you begin blogging?

Last Spring. So I've been blogging...a year and a half?

4. Do you like bonfires?

Oh my word, YES. We're actually having a Reformation Day Celebration Bonfire this Sunday!

5. If someone gave you a pet monkey, what would you name it?

If it was a girl, I'd name her Dot. And if it was boy, I'd name him Charlie. Haha.

6. Which continent would you most love to have a nice, long, wonderful tour of?

EUROPE!!!!!!!

7. Pens or pencils?

Pencils.

Thanks for tagging me, ladies! It was fun!

my love affair with thunderstorms has most definitely begun. for sure.

Last night, we had the most wonderous of wonderful thunderstorms. It was thrilling.

I've always liked thunderstorms, but now...now, I love them. L.O.V.E. them. God is so amazingly and beautifully creative.

Thunderstorms have that ability to make me shudder - in a completely delicious way. Ahh. They're dangerous and yet so cozy.

It was really quite perfect, actually. I was snuggled under my owl comforter. A biting fall breeze was wafting through my open window. By the light of my itty-bitty rose lamp I was re-reading my most favorite part in one of my most favorite books in one of my most favorite series (the part in "Emily Climbs" where Teddy saves Emily from Mad Man Morrison? Anybody else adore that part? I don't know how many times I've read it.) As I was savoring the beautiful words, there was a tremendous crack of thunder.

The lights went completely out.

I lay completely still, in the darkness, the chilly breeze playing an enticing game of tag with my sheer curtain.

bliss.

A moment later, my little brother was crying extremely loudly...and it kind of shattered my little moment. Mom and I went to comfort him...and somehow, the whole family ended up in my room, snuggling on the bed, the chair, the floor. Dad brought in the oil lamp. We just sat, enjoying each other's company until everyone felt warm and comforted. Then, we all snuck back to our beds in the dark, and fell asleep.

they say we look alike...

I went on a little window shopping trip today. (Well, internet window shopping, that is.)

I found some pretty darling dresses, and I wanted to share them with you!

The only problem is, they are extremely short, and most of them don't have any straps. Humbug.

So, just clearin' it up, I wouldn't actually WEAR these oh-so-adorable dresses - unless they magically got longer and had straps. But they're fun to look at!

Here are some of my favorite finds from ModCloth :

I just love this color of blue - and the skirt is so pretty!

This big bow did me in. I LOVE IT. Someday, I'm gonna wear a dress with a ginormous bow, just for fun!

Aww! Isn't this vintage beauty sweet?

Mm, I'm likin' the fabric on this dress. And the ribbon sash is so feminine! With a little sweater, and jean capris underneath, this could be an amazing picnic outfit.

This dress's delicious plum color is simply ravishing. I love how the sash is so high, kind of like a Jane Austen sort of gown.

How FUN would it be to swing dance in this dress?

I'm thinking pretty fun.

If you had $500 dollars to spend one type of clothes (i.e. dresses, skirts, etc.), what kind would you pick?

why, yes

i do watch North and South...

in my room on a Sunday night...

while eating a banana popsicle (or two) ...

and wearing coffee cup pajama pants.

Life is good.

(and yes, I do have a teeny crush on Mr. Thorton)

(ok, maybe more than teeny)

Are any of you out there North and South fans?

Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase - Day 5

This week has been so much fun! I didn't post a picture for yesterday, but the day was just too crazy!

Anyways, here's my outfit for Day 5!

Sweater - My mommy gave it to me! I have no idea where she got it, and neither does she :)

Brown Tank - Banana Republic

Flower Tank - Old Navy

Jeans - Old Navy

Flipflops - Old Navy (and yes, about half my clothes are from Old Navy!)

Necklace - gift

Earrings - gift

(I got to wear my new apron for the first time, and I just had to show it to you! Isn't it cute?)

It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to take a picture of my ear...and it still turned out weird. Oh well :)

Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase - Day 3

Oh dear.

I'm awfully late at posting this! It's been a hectic day, and school just doesn't want to get finished!

Buuut, I'm deserting my literature paper for a moment (shh!) to post a picture of my outfit for Day 3!

Jacket - Plato's Closet

Tank - I can't remember, and I'm too lazy to look at the tag :)

Skirt - Gap

Shoes - Payless

Necklace - Gift

Sweet dreams, all!

Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase - Day 2

I hope you all are having a wonderful Monday...mine has been pretty normal.

Here's my outfit for today! (Sorry for the blurriness of the picture)

Shirt and Tank - Old Navy :)

Owl Necklace - Gift

Jeans - Plato's Closet

Boots - Target

And by the way, I love my readers!

Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase - Day 1

Oh, how I adore autumn! It's beautiful here...nice and chilly...no clouds in the sky...the sun shinin' bright.

Here's my first outfit for Marie's "Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase"...

Cardigan - Old Navy

Shirt - Old Navy

Scarf - a fun, local store called Brace Books and More

Skirt - Old Navy (Can you tell I like shopping at Old Navy? ...nah.)

Flats - Wal-mart

Today is also my sixteenth birthday :) It's been beautiful. (More on that later!)

Later, lovlies!

what [this] girl needs

(image from weheartit)

I think my love of tea is inherited from my mom.

In fact, I know it is.

My mom's parents lived in England for a few years right after my parents were married and so they visited England more than once.
It was there that my mom was introduced to the wonders of tea - particularly PG Tips brewed in a Brown Betty tea pot, served in a porcelain tea cup, and doused with a bit of cream.

My mom drinks at least three cups of tea a day, if not more. And now I'm becoming just as bad. Tea is the perfect companion for any activity!

School is ten times more pleasant with a warm cup of tea...




Plus, there are so many fun treats that are simply delightful with a swig of tea. Look at these adorable mini granola bars!

I love tea, oh so very much.

If you haven't tried tea...you are missing out. Believe me. So go! Make some tea!

What are you waiting for?!

"That's what friends are for!"

Will (my 11 year old little brother) was Mowgli in our community theater's production of Jungle Book and Kate ( my 5 year old little sister) was a jungle flower. Ashley, one of my awesome friends, was a jungle tree! They were all fabulous!

Mowgli (Will) - he was great!! The perfect Mowgli, for sure.

Jungle Flower (Kate) - she was on stage the entire time and didn't miss a note! Isn't she cute?

Kate with me and my other sister, Karis, after the performance.

A large group of face-painted fans stormed the theater on Saturday Night. We all sat in the front row (well, all of us that could fit) and cheered as loudly as possible. It was so. much. fun

After the performance, we all went to McDonalds for a little snack.

After I got home, I was once again reminded of God's faithful provision. He has blessed me with an amazing group of friends. Not only do we have a blast together, but we support and encourage each other in our faith.

I'm so proud of them!

p.s.

Look at this fabulous poster I found to put in my room!

*squeal*

( I realize it's a bit hard to read. It says, "Music, Theatre, and Dance")

(And it's sideways. Fail.)

I just love it. And plus, it was $5 at Hobby Lobby. How could I resist?

of sticky tack, frustrations, and daydreamin'

So, sticky tack is amazing.

Yup, it's true!

I'm a big fan of sticking stuff on walls...beautiful pictures, motivating Bible verses, inspirational quotes, reminders, fun memorabilia...and tape just doesn't do the trick. (It's kind of destructive on walls)

So, whadda you do if you can't use tape to stick something on the wall?

*que superhero music*

You use....STICKY TACK!



This is the product of 12:30 at night - a school night, to be exact. (Extra bonus points for anybody who can name the character in a fantasy book who uses this phrase ALL the time!) Anyways, I couldn't sleep. There were all things jumbling around in my head - things I hadn't done, but needed to do.

One of these things was sticking pictures and verses onto my walls. After stuggling with the fact that cutting/sticking/admiring were probably activities that could be come quite noisy and sleep-depriving, I just got up and did my thing. And nobody woke up, so all was well.



It's still a work in progress. But hey, it's better than a sad empty wall staring bleakly at me every time I pass by it!

I'm a big fan of personalization. (More on that later!)



Do you ever get frustrated? *cough*rhetorical question*cough*



I get frustrated when people mispronounce my name...or repeatedly misspell my name after I have clearly written my name a million times where they can see it. (Does that ever frustrate you?)

I get frustrated when I get a low score on a test because because I did my very best and studied and took my time and yadda yadda whatever.

I get frustrated when I can't get finish everything I wanted to accomplish in a day because I had to play with my siblings, or do chores, or because I was just plain lazy!

I get frustrated when I make the same mistakes, over and over again - when I continually put my interests over other peoples' interests - when I keep having pity parties for myself -when I don't do things as well as I think I should have.

And you are probably tired of reading all these rants and whinings!

But the point is, I get frustrated way much more often than I should. I'm not the type of person who will blow up in your face when I'm mad or the kind that flings stinging remarks in your face cause I'm annoyed - I just get snappy and out-of-shape.

See, the problem is, I'm still fighting that ever-present "old man". You know, from 2 Corinthians 5:17? I'm so focused on MYSELF and what I want to do or get done, that I totally throw aside other people's desires. And yes, I can make some pretty fine excuses for why I have a great reason for being frustrated...and selfish and proud. And maybe I do have a great reason.

But it doesn't matter. My life is not my own anymore. I am living FOR Christ, and his goals and desires for me are a lot different than the old man's goals and desires for me.


Do you dream? (Yes, I know, major topic shift)

I always thought of myself as a dreamer.

But the more I think about it, I'm really not a dreamer (in the usual sense of the word). I love anticipating events and thinking about things that *could* happen - but all my daydreams all plausible possibilites (As in, they really could happen). I don't dream of impossible things, or crazy things, or wonderfully good and amazing things that I could do. My dreams are all grounded in reality.

In a sense, this is a very good thing. My hopes have less chance of being crushed. I'll more likely have my dreams "come true".

But in another sense, maybe I'm missing out on things, on possibilities, on potential that I have but don't realize it, or talents I have and COULD be better at, but I don't have motivation to. Or I just don't want to work at it hard enough.

Hmm.

Yes, well, ANYWAY, where I was going with was, the other day I was flipped through a homeschool magazine.

It was pretty much the same old, same old. And then, I saw the article. It was entitled, "PHC Chorale sings in cathedrals across Europe."

Just the title alone caught my eye. Not only did it mention Patrick Henry College (one of my dream colleges), but it combined PHC with "sings" and "cathedrals" and "Europe."

Oh my.

It talked about how this group visited three different European countries - shopping, touring cool sites, singing on the streets, climbing mountains, eating scrumptious food, and just having a good time. They visited Munich, Salzburg, Vienna, and Venice. (CAN YOU TALK ABOUT AWESOME?!)

But even more cool is that they got to perform - a capello - in places like St. Mark's Basilica. Student Abby Wolkings is quoted as saying, "I got goose bumps many times in the cathedrals. The majesty and great acoustics of the building caused our singing to sound like angels. Singing in great cathedrals where famous people have played or lived really brought to life the musical history of Europe for me. It was a great experience."

You may be thinking, ".....so?"

And I don't blame you.

But this article talked about about three of my "pratical"ish dreams - attending PHC, going to Europe, singing in a cathedral a capello with a big group - all in the same sentence. I was so excited when I read it. Cause maybe, just maybe, some of my dreams COULD come true.

Ok, I sound like a disney princess.

But does it make sense why I was excited? Probably not.

I'm bad at explaining stuff like this. But I just wanted to share this with you, cause it was super duper thrilling to me.

What are some of your dreams? Are you practical dreamer or head-in-the-clouds dreamer, or neither?

I'm silly...

and there is no denying it.

In my online literature class, we are reading "The Two Lives of Charlemagne." For a fun extra assignment, we were asked to complete the unfinished story of Stracholf the Glazier (glass maker) found at the very end of the book. The author starts this story, but stops mid-sentence - and THAT'S how the book ends!

I think I had a little too much fun with it.

Still, I wanted to share it with you :)

Here's the beginning of the story (which I didn't write):

His (Charlemagne's) liberality reached even to the lowest grades: insomuch that he once ordered all hsi attire to be given to one Stracholf, a glazier, and a servant of St. Gall. When the wandering servants of the soldiers heard of this, they laid an ambuscade for him on the road and tried to rob him. Then he cried out: "What are you doing? You are using violence to the glazier of the emperor!" They answered: 'You can keep your office but..."

And here is the ending I wrote to the above un-finished story:
“…we demand that you hand over your sequined beret and your luminous light-up neck ware.” Stracholf stared at the rogues, his eyes as round as hard-boiled eggs. “Never, you rapscallions! I shall give you my rad leather jacket, my oh-so-fuzzy-and-adorable bunny slippers, or my flat-billed Yankees hat –anything, accepting what you require.” The servant who had spoken crossed his arms, a sneer on his pompous and protruding lips. “What song shall we request at your burial, glazier? For we shall not let you live unless you give us your hat and necklace.” It was glorious, poignant picture. The crowd of seething men. The one man, fighting, alone, for justice. After a moment which felt like hours, Stracholf spoke. His righteous voice was low, quiet, and resolved. “I can not go against what my heart tells me I must do. No, though you threaten me with death most cruel, still more awful would be the knowledge that I have failed the cause, that noble cause of fashionable clothing. I could never face my king again. Do what you will. I shall not be moved.” Then kneeling, he laid bare his noble neck. Oh Stracholf, you shall not be forgotten! Your noblest of deeds will be ever-remembered, and fathers shall tell their children about the splendid action of Stracholf the Glazier for years to come.

Yeah, it's lame. But I had fun!

Simple Joys: pictures with siblings

I love my siblings. I love taking pictures. So, I really can't think of anything better than taking pictures with my siblings.


Sometimes it's hard to find things that both my sibling AND I enjoy doing. But who doesn't love taking crazy pictures? It's easy, it's fun, and it's great bonding time - laughing over our crazy faces, trying to squeeze everyone's head into the picture, getting dozens of blurry pictures because you can't stop giggling.










What do you and your sibling(s) do together?